A test in time

It’s been the scariest two months of my life. I constantly kept myself busy, buried myself in work and exhausted myself to sleep so that I have minimum thinking time. When the thoughts and fears crept in occasionally, I wrote it off, telling myself to worry when it’s time to worry. I said silent prayers and murmur, “be optimistic, be optimistic” in my head. But you know how difficult it can be right, when you’re in the thick and thin of things. Two months ago when I went for my annual health check up, the doctor found a lump in my breast.

I was referred to a specialist and since I was traveling to San Diego, I choose a doctor at the cancer center of the University of California San Diego. After four ultrasounds, an extremely painful multi-session mammogram, a biopsy and numerous consultation with specialists and even a session with a social worker who called to help me ‘coped’ with the problem, I was near my wit end. I thought, this is it! They must know something more than they’re telling me! They’re just confirming their suspicion! The lady from the institute who called to tell me that my results were ready, was not very helpful either. She told me in a rather stern and serious voice that I should NOT miss today’s appointment with the doctor at any cost. So you can understand my predicament.

I woke up today morning preparing myself for the worst news. But the moment I saw the smile on my doctor’s face, my heart was a million times lighter. She said my tumor was benign. I don’t have breast cancer. Thank You God.

Thank you to those who crossed their fingers for me, to those who wished me luck, to those who said a silent prayer. You have no idea what a big relief it is for me. I still have to do an ultrasound once every six months to monitor the tumor, but for now I can breath easy.

I need a drink to celebrate. cheers!